Family is unequivocally a critical part of what it means to be human. As social animals, each and every one of us is heavily influenced by not only our culture, but more importantly the people we have come to know and love throughout our lives: our family. Family is defined as “a group of two people or more (one of whom is the householder) related by birth, marriage, or adoption and residing together; all such people (including related subfamily members) are considered as members of one family.” (U.S.
Census Bureau 2015a; Strong, Cohen 10) This remains true, but not for everyone; family can be much more intricate, more so than such an account can explain. Throughout history to this day, the meaning of family has developed and taken many different forms, such as nuclear families, the minutiae of ethnic family groups such as Asian American and European American, and .
The nuclear family is debatably a successful family structure. Regardless of who is asked, whether it be a sociologist, psychologist, or any given individual having grown up in their own biased family environment, each would have their own subjective or objective judgement on whether or not the nuclear family might be the best type for fulfilling the functions of the family.
Personally, despite growing up in one, I do not think the nuclear family is necessarily the best, but rather the quality of a family member’s character and role as an influential individual to their own kin. This is what defines a good or ‘best’ type of family, the people themselves.
In one instance of this type of family the husband works outside the home, while the wife stays at home taking care of the children. This division of parental responsibilities is something I experienced first-hand growing up. My father worked full-time, providing financially for the family while my mother took care of my sister and I, as well as household responsibilities. I am grateful for my parents’ efforts as mother and father figures to me to this day and love them deeply for it.
Throughout my life, my parents, grandparents, and other extended family members have frequently made an emphasis on the importance of the familial bond. There have been numerous instances where my grandfather, Ocya (or Joseph) would sit down with me, and speak to me about this unique and unbreakable connection we have as a family, in that no matter what struggle or hardships we may undergo, we are always there for each other. This code is the foundation that has been running through our family for the past two generations.
My patriline experienced different upbringings than my own personal nuclear family experience. Both my father and his father grew up in single parent homes for their entire lives, or almost their entire lives. Shortly before my grandfather Ocya was born in 1941, his father was drafted to fight Nazi controlled Germany after they had invaded then Soviet Union during World War II. He died fighting months after Ocya was born, never having the chance to meet his son. Ocya then grew up with his mother, older sister, and grandfather. From conversations throughout the years, he would tell me how great of an influence and importance they would have on his character, personality, and belief system. I see this first hand; my grandfather is a gentle, caring, and thoughtful person full of unconditional love for his family, friends, and his passion for music and the arts. This would in turn influence me in the same way I see it has influenced my father.
My father, Misha (or Michael) also grew up in a single parent home after losing his mother to cancer at the young age of 5. During an interview with my father, he told me about his experience growing up in the 70s in Moscow. While he can’t fully remember the times he had growing up as a young child with his mother, he did talk about how his aunt, Ocya’s sister Larissa served as a surrogate mother figure to him, even calling her “Mom” for many years. My father would also talk about other crucial female influences to him such as his grandmother and cousin, Sonya. With confidence he can say that these three women who he grew up with served as critical famela figures in the upbringing of his character.
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