Understanding Suicide Bereavement: Questions And Answers

Why is suicide one of the hardest of all things for someone to bear?

1. Why is suicide one of the hardest of all things for someone to bear?

2. What is society’s response to suicide?

3. What may surprise and frighten some bereaved clients?

4. Which three things can the counsellow say in order to reassure a bereaved client about the intensity of his feeling?

5. What alarming yet normal phenomena might a bereaved person esperience?

6. Which signs or features may identify someone as requiring special help?

7. Who can a counsellor seek assistance from if he fears his client is at risk of suicide?

8. Why should a counsellor never be afraid to ask direct questions about suicide?

9. Describe the differences betweenj normal denial and pathological denial?

10. Why should the rights of a bereaved person be respoected?

1. Within the social context, suicide is considered to be the hardest of all things for someone to tolerate especially if someone is really close to the victim. It is majorly because of the various reasons of distresses, the individual feels that the death is the fault of his in some or the other way. Generally, people accept the occurrence of a natural death or that which has been known for a sometime. But, suicide is such a death that is completely unpredictable for the people of a society. It has a violent and brutal face (Clark, 2010). For anyone, the reality of suicide is really harsh to accept, especially that of a closed one. He or she may not be even a bit aware of the probable reason and so hardly bears the reality that the victim is gone forever. The concept of suicide makes a bereaved individual quite vulnerable from inside. It becomes intolerable for him to accept and adjust the sheer absence of the loved one.

2. Society has a vivid response towards the concept of suicide. When such a violent incident occurs, it is a common belief and thinking of people that someone has to take the blame of such a reality, and hence the society responses in a way that it has to lay the entire blame upon the person who is the closest to the deceased. The consequence is even worse than mere lack of sympathy. The society is said to response so as to accuse some or the other for occurrence of such an incident. The reaction is severe if the accusation is accepted, and if denied it would draw serious interference along with the process of mourning (Douglas and Morris, 2015). The society’s response towards suicide is negative. It has been a common response of society that suicide means a blame on an individual or situations that led to such an incident. It has more to do with the guilt of an individual than that of personal weaknesses. The response of society can be interpreted variedly; more preferred is that of linking the blame of such an incident with someone very close to the victim.

What is society’s response to suicide?

3. For bereaved individuals, suicide may appear to be a drastic solution to counteract the issue of bereavement. It is often deemed to be an approach of attaining reunion with the loved one who is dead. Suicide may even end the process of grievances, misery and alienation. Some of the bereaved clients may feel surprised as well as frightened because of the sheer intensity of their imagining as well as emotions, specifically to follow a death which was violent in nature (Haugen and Box, 2006). It is important for them to receive advices from counselors regarding their mental state, whether their feelings and thoughts are normal or not, and whether it is normal to express grief by crying. All these may be imparted explicitly as well as by attitude which reflects that the counselor is least alarmed or surprised or frightened by any of such feelings.

4. When a bereaved client approaches a counselor, there are some aspects that the counselor must clarify before initiating the aid process. It is important for the counselor to assess and know at the very beginning about the mental condition of the bereaved individuals. He may ask question like as to how the client interprets the given situation, how he feels about the whole thing, and that of his entire thought and feelings if the situation (Hughes, 2003). Discussion on these matters would enable the client to speak his heart out to the counselor and that the counselor would receive an idea about the current mental state and condition of the bereaved individual. It is by means of a continued question session followed by discussion that the mental condition of the bereaved individual can be assessed and identified.

5. It is quite significant to understand that all those who try helping the bereaved must know the normal thing. All bereaved clients are so shocked by the unusual feelings of grievances that they often feel they are going insane and that of abnormalities. Such feeling is witnessed during experience of intense feelings of bitterness or anger, but can arise in context to perception disturbances (Neimeyer, 2000). Another common indication of insanity is that of hallucination and may be alarming towards those clients experiencing hypnagogic hallucination of someone dead. Clients may be reassured of the normality of such phenomenon. Another alarming source is vivid nightmare. Distraction, difficulty in memorizing things and minor sense of unreality are some attributes of specific reaction of bereavement which may result in client concerns.

What may surprise and frighten some bereaved clients?

6. From various situations that a client goes through, it may be easily predicted if the client needs some help and support or not. The absence of grief at a situation where grief was expected, prolonged physical symptoms, cases of panic, excessive guilt feelings or anger or intense grief much beyond normal state must be considered to be the signs or indications that the client need some help. The signs must not be interpreted that the client is going through the phase of insanity as psychosis like that may seem quite rare outcome of bereavement (ì´승연, 2007). Clients exhibiting theses sings need special care and support. The counselor determines that the bereaved individual needs support and help when he feels observes some unusual behavior in the client. When situations become tougher and severe, it starts reflecting upon the individual who has been exposed to the adversities of such situations.

7. Despite efforts of counselors, if it is assessed that the client is at worsening condition and for any reason the counselor feels that his support is not adequate for the client to recover from such a situation, he must seek advices from experts in this field. General practitioner must be brought to the picture. The client should be given assistances of psychiatrist and this would be effective and helpful if it is predicted that the client has a tendency of suicide. Often situation may get severe and worsening for counselors (Westefeld, 2000). They may feel and realize the need for improved and more effective treatment rather than mere discussion and problem-hearing. It is then that they feel the need to recommend the bereaved individuals to psychiatrists of other medical experts.

8. Counselors must not be afraid of asking direct questions related to suicide to the clients. it is important that the counselor comes to the actual matter of concern directly rather than going round and round. It is quite common that the bereaved individual would say that he would not care if he dies the very next day, and remarks like that may make the counselor little concerns. However, a client who seriously thinks of ending his life somehow must be recommended to a psychiatrist. In case if the client refuses to seek help from a psychiatrist, then at least the counselor must provide advices to the bereaved client (Townsend and Bagby, 2006). Normally, a bereaved person always tells about his intention to someone. Any direct question regarding such aspects to a client evokes him to answer directly if he has contemplated seriously such an action. Normally people feel scared to mention about suicide as if it would really occur if they mention. However,  if a counselor asks a simple question if that it had been so hard for him that he had decided to end his life can actually help him save a life.

9. The main distinction amidst normal and pathological denial is that within normal denial, substitute process is perceived to appear either conscious like soldier fighting for flags, and even unconscious but socially acceptable like old maid keeping pet as a companion. On the other hand, pathological denial refers to unconscious substitute to defend intention. It is one of the displacements like we learn from dreams or a primary source (Reis and Cornell, 2008).

10. Bereaved individuals have several rights like that of the right to expect considerate care for sake of their loved ones being dead. These rights must be respected by one and all. It is because then the society respects these rights of the bereaved individuals, it actually becomes easier for the bereaved individuals to bear the grief of losing loved ones (Paulson and Worth, 2002). When bereaved individuals are faced with grief situations, they need considerable care and concern from the society. Hence, some key rights are granted to them. When the society grants these rights and shows considerable respect towards these, the bereaved individuals feel pacified and relaxed and thus it becomes easier for them to accept the grief situation and move on. Adequate care and concern help them forget recover from such situations easily and steadily.

References

Clark, A. (2010). Empathy: An Integral Model in the Counseling Process. Journal of Counseling & Development, 88(3), pp.348-356.

Douglas, K. and Morris, C. (2015). Assessing Counselors’ Self-Efficacy in Suicide Assessment and Intervention. Counseling Outcome Research and Evaluation.

Haugen, D. and Box, M. (2006). Suicide. Farmington Hills, MI: Greenhaven Press/Thomson Gale.

Hughes, R. (2003). Suicide Grief Work and Pastoral Counseling. American Journal of Pastoral Counseling, 6(2), pp.43-62.

Neimeyer, R. (2000). Suicide and Hastened Death: Toward a Training Agenda for Counseling Psychology. The Counseling Psychologist, 28(4), pp.551-560.

Paulson, B. and Worth, M. (2002). Counseling for Suicide: Client Perspectives. Journal of Counseling & Development, 80(1), pp.86-93.

Reis, C. and Cornell, D. (2008). An Evaluation of Suicide Gatekeeper Training for School Counselors and Teachers. Professional School Counseling, 11(6), pp.386-394.

Townsend, L. and Bagby, D. (2006). Suicide. Nashville, Tenn.: Abingdon Press.

Westefeld, J. (2000). Introduction to the Major Contribution on Suicide. The Counseling Psychologist, 28(4), pp.443-444.

ì´승연, (2007). Suicide Postvention in Schools. koreajournalofcounseling, 8(1), pp.161-180.