Personal Growth, Self-Reflection, Family Dynamics, And Resiliency In Life Span Development

Portions of the Book Shared with Class as Examples

1a. Personal Growth

The mental and physical well-being of an individual is imperative for the proper functioning of the individual in the society. Unfortunately, my life has been a tough and challenging journey ever since I was a little child. When I was five years of age, my parents had a baby boy – my little brother. Instead of being happy, like any normal child, I was jealous of the divided attention of our parents. I wanted them to concentrate only on me and my jealously led me to develop a relation of animosity with my little brother. Children need their family members around them constantly (Brill, 2017)

 Another hindrance to my mental peace occurred when I was eight years of age. My family was required to move to Puerto Rico because of certain compelling reasons.  This further agitated me as I had to leave my friends and school back home. I had problems adjusting to the new social setting (Staff, 2016). Both these factors combined together led me down spiraling and I was compelled by my parents to enroll in an army school (Thomson, et al 2018). They thought my rebellious nature would be curbed by the strict regimen followed in a military school. However, their intentions backfired and I ended up developing an eating disorder which resulted in years of trauma in the future for me (Pipitone, n.d).

I started to develop what is known as anorexia and bulimia, both of them eating disorders. They mainly developed because of the problems in my behavior; I started to binge eat on unhealthy food much more than the safe amount (Copeland et. al., 2015). However, in order to avoid being overweight, I also started to purge myself which led to the development of anorexia.

Graduating from the military school, my life put another crisis in front of me. My aunt was suffering from cancer and the doctors believed that it was fatal, which later proved to be true. This was a traumatic experience for my family and I decided to take some time off and stay with them, providing moral support.

Gradually, I started looking for other options to advance my career. I applied at the American Musical and Dramatic Academy for an integrated program of dancing, singing and acting. I got through the program and a new chapter began in my life. Initially, I tasted success as I got the chance to perform in some Broadway shows.

Luck favored me when I was thirty years of age when I was invited by a friend of mine to a recording studio. There I met Andrea Martin who is popular because of her association with Roc Nation, a renowned label belonging to Jay Z himself. Martin took an interest in me but before I could make any concrete headway, I soon realized that I was pregnant. I felt a rush of mixed emotions during that time as the birth of my child meant I could not record any further (Horton & Brown, 2002). The studio however, showed extreme maturity in understanding my situation, giving me all the due support and encouragement.

Process of Completing the Life Book

My child was born on 4^th December, 2014 and I am forever grateful for that day. My child gave me the opportunity to experience the beauty of motherhood. However, this leg of the journey was again fraught with problems. My husband and I decided to end our relationship but it took an ugly turn when out of vengeance, my husband decided to hurt me. He refused to pay child support and ever since, we have been caught up in a long drawn court case. All of this has taken a heavy toll on my life.

1b. Self-realization and counselor awareness

All of these various crises in my life had a huge impact on my personal and professional life. Bulimia has the capacity to affect not only the physical appearance, but also the mental health of any individual. I suffered not only from bulimia, but also from anorexia which further marginalized me from the main stream community. This self-realization made me aware that I needed professional help in order to change my condition (Packer, 2017).

1c. Family dynamics and influencers

People used to make fun of me, my own mother used to tease me while my family gave me no moral support during this phase of my life. I was alone in a world full of people. Adulthood is the time when you need the maximum care and support of your loved ones but unfortunately, I was left with no one who could understand the extent of my mental stress and anxiety. This affected my personal development to a huge extent. A person that believed in me was Andrea Martin who gave me the opportunity to start my career afresh. Another significant person that influenced my life and changed it for the better was my child, after whose birth I became more determined than ever before.

1d. Resiliency

The non-conducive environment within the family and the outside world, however, did not deter me to keep on surviving. I had immense buildup of resilience to fight the existing situation and make the necessary changes. When I realized my weight gaining problem was spinning out of control, I took extreme measures to rectify the situation, which again landed me in anorexia. However, I gathered up the strength to fight with this too and it was not till much later that I was able to pull myself out of the miserable condition.

2a. Learnings from my life

I gained many important lessons in my life through the various hardships. The jealousy I felt towards my baby brother was responsible in creating the distance between my family and me. Moreover, the lack of communication with my parents and other family members led me to hige the problem of binge eating which eventually resulted in Bulimia. I did not have the courage to open up to them after all the bullying I received in school. The environment within the family was also not conducive for me to be honest to my parents. Reflecting back on my life the thing that surprised the most is that I realized that all the disorders could have been avoided if I had asked for help at the right time.

2b. Research literature of Life Span Development

Reviewing the various literature on life span development, I realized that the support of the family members and friends play a crucial role in the mental well-being of an individual as well his or her physical development. I also realized that asking for help is a normal humane process and everyone is entitled to seek help in this world. Having a friendly therapist helped me to confide in someone and seek professional help from a trusted guide (De Haene et al., 2018). This helped me immensely to form a positive self-image of myself and to get used to the teasing and mocking that I had to deal with in my adolescent years.

2c. Future research recommendations

The contemporary world is multicultural in nature with numerous beliefs, values and traditions (Ratts et al., 2016). However, what an experienced therapist needs to understand is that following a set of pre-determined guidelines is not enough. While dealing with a client with vulnerable mental health, it is imperative for the therapist to know about the social setting of the concerned client, the family background, what are the exact instances in life which all had contributed together to the disturbance in the mental peace (Horton-Parker & Brown, 2002). After a thorough knowledge, then only will the counselor will be able to take effective action plan.

References:

Brill, A. (2017 , February 15 ). How to Discipline When A New Baby Arrives and Siblings Act Out. Retrieved from Positive Parenting Connection : https://www.positiveparentingconnection.net/how-to-discipline-when-a-new-baby-arrives-and-siblings-act-out/

Copeland, W. E., Bulik, C. M., Zucker, N., Wolke, D., Lereya, S. T. & Constello, E. J. (2015). Is Childhood Bullying Involvement A Precursor Of Eating Disorder Symptoms? A Prospective Analysis. International Journal of Eating Disorders. 48(8), pp. 1141-1149

De Haene, L., Rousseau, C., Kevers, R., Deruddere, N., & Rober, P. (2018). Stories of trauma in family therapy with refugees: Supporting safe relational spaces of narration and silence. Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 23(2), 258-278. Doi: 10.1177/1359104518756717

Horton-Parker, R. J., & Brown, N. W. (2002). The unfolding life: Counseling across the lifespan. Bergin & Garvey.

Howard, J. (2017 , July 24 ). How bullimics’ brains are different. Retrieved from CNN: https://www.cnn.com/2017/07/18/health/bulimia-brain-stress-food-study/index.html

Packer, M. (2017). Child Development: Understanding A Cultural Perspective. New York: SAGE.

Pipitone, N. M. (n.d.). Can Bullying Lead To An Eating Disorder? Retrieved from Walden Behavioral Care : https://www.waldeneatingdisorders.com/can-bullying-lead-to-an-eating-disorder/

Ratts, M. J., Singh, A. A., Nassar?McMillan, S., Butler, S. K., & McCullough, J. R. (2016). Multicultural and social justice counseling competencies: Guidelines for the counseling profession. Journal of Multicultural Counseling and Development, 44(1), 28-48.

Staff, B. C. (2016 , September ). Retrieved from Helping your grade-schooler adjust to a new sibling: https://www.babycenter.com/0_helping-your-grade-schooler-adjust-to-a-new-sibling_3636626.bc

Thomson, K., Oberle, E., Gadermann, A., Guhn, M., Rowcliffe, P. & Schonert-Reichl, K. (2018). Measuring social-emotional development in middle childhood: The Middle Years Development Instrument. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 55, 107-118.