While straightening your teenager’s room, a book falls on the floor. You pick it up and see that it is her diary. As a parent, do you have the right to read it? Would it matter if you found the diary outside her room? Is it okay to read the diary if you suspect there is problem your teen is not telling you about? As a child, did you ever go into your parent’s room (without permission) and snoop around? Was that an “invasion of their privacy”? Did you find anything you weren’t supposed to? Did you learn from it? Did you tell them? You have every right to read your child’s diary whether it’s found in the laundry or their bedroom.
There is nothing wrong with knowing what your child is thinking, the changes that they are experiencing, or perhaps any troubling matters they don’t feel they can approach one of their parents with. Consider yourself lucky you found it.
Invasion of privacy? I don’t think so; it could save their life. As long as your child is living at home with you, yes, you should read her diary entries. You are there to protect your child not only from outside influences but also from herself. If it means going through their belongings then so be it.
When they move out and establish lives of their own, this is when you give up certain rights as parents, including reading their diaries. I guess my term is not snooping; it is monitoring your children.
My parents monitor me. There is nothing in my room that my mother does not have access to. It is unacceptable for anyone to hide anything in our house. And, she monitors which people I hang out with. Granted, I didn’t appreciate it for a while, but as some of her “NO WAY” choices started ending up hurting me, or others, I knew she had my best interest at heart, and wasn’t trying to sabotage my life.
I agree that it’s okay to go through your kid’s belongings. What should be done if you are going through it and you find something inappropriate, you find some roundabout way to bring it up to your child and see if they open up about it. By no means do you say, “Oh, I was in your room snooping and found this or that.” You have to protect your kids. Sometimes they will get into the habit of believing everything their friends say, not thinking that their mom or dad have been through or experienced just about everything they’re going through and have the wisdom to help them out in certain situations. Of course children do not believe that you should be snooping into what they want to call “their privacy”. They also think they know everything and can make wise decisions.
They think it is ok to text and drive, drink and drive and show their private parts while on spring break. Kids think they should not have to go to school or have a bedtime. Do I have to go on? I think you get the picture. Bottom line is, they are not paying for a phone, internet, computers, Ipads and the electricity it takes to keep them running and until they do those items are not theirs. They are the property of the parent or guardian and can be looked at, searched, monitored at anytime they please. My point is, if you’re not doing anything wrong then there should not be a problem with anyone looking at your text messages or emails which by the way are not private anyway.
If you feel you should have privacy and you are old enough then get a job, be responsible, and pay for all of your things yourself and you may also want to move out on your own until then, As my mom says “My house, my rules.” Legally, parents have the right to monitor their child’s communications simply because they are legally responsible for the child’s actions. Parents are legally responsible for their children.
I know of past cases where parents have been arrested for crimes a child has done and they also can be held financially responsible. The trust element also comes into play when both the teen and the parent know they can trust each other that their home is a place free of harmful communication. To do that, the parent has to actively monitor the media that the teen uses and engage in censorship, no matter how awful the word seems. It is simply the act of a responsible society that harmful communication is not displayed to children and that children do their part in respecting the laws of society.
I am a teenager. I think parents should be able to monitor my personal life, specifically my texts, because of all the dangerous things in the world. You start to notice on the news teens using drugs more often than they have before. Using a simple text message to one of your friends about drugs or anything can start peer pressure. You’re not talking in person so it’s easier to text it then actually say it. I was reading a story on CNN about a computer programmer who figured out slang use of words to cover so parents won’t get it. He does have a website up with the meaning of the slang use of words. I looked at one and it said “tdtml”. This means “talk dirty to me later”. Parents should be able to ask for the phone to see what they are talking about.
They should be able to ask for it at random times. My parents also told me that they will check my phone whenever giving me a heads up that I will just hand it over at any time. This has helped me a lot in my life to stay away from peer pressure and many other things as well. Using the website noslang.com can help parents figure out what their kids are texting. Reading the CNN report on what they could code for words was absolutely amazing. Go to cnn.com and in the search bar type in “Parents do you know what these texts mean?” Parents you will be stunned at the reports and the type of coding teens use in these days.
Remember! This is just a sample.
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