I had never seen her so depressed. Tears were running down her face as I walked towards her. I would have given my life to stop these tears in her eyes but there was nothing I could do. Nothing can console a person who has lost a loved one. She probably did not know it then, but she meant the whole world to me. I wanted to talk to her and gather her in my arms and tell her that I loved her and that she had me for the rest of her life, even if her mother had left her.
Restraining myself because the elders were there, I took her hand and squeezed it gently to let her know that I felt the pain in her heart. She looked into my eyes and then fell into my arms. Then she threw all restrain and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I could not hold back my tears and started crying too.
A few of our friends who had just arrived, threw their arms around her and all of us huddled together and cried. We stayed with Jane the whole time of the wake and the funeral.
Next day I sat thinking of the plight my lady was in. I knew that she needed me, so I decided to go to her. When I arrived, her father was glad to see me. He led me in and pointed to her room. I went in and saw Jane sitting in the corner of her room; staring vacantly into space.
I managed a weak smile and sat beside her. She looked at me and tears sprang into her eyes. I took out my handkerchief and gave it to her. She accepted it and wiped her tears dry.
” Let’s go out,” I said.
She shook her head.
” I think you should. Being alone at home is not going to help you overcome your grief,” I said gently.
She kept really quiet.
“Let’s go to a movie,” I suggested, hoping to change her mind.
She turned to me suddenly. ” Are you asking for a date?” she said.
I nodded slowly.
“Well, you chose a fine time,” she said and turned away angrily, “I think you better go.”
That got me angry. “Look,” I told her, “this may not be the right time to tell you this. I don’t care what you think of me and I know that you probably won’t care about me at all, but I’m going to tell you this anyway. I’m crazy about you. I cannot replace your mother; no one can. But I want to be there whenever you need me. I cannot stop caring for you no matter what you say,” I said and stood up to leave the room.
Her father put his arms around my shoulder when I went into the hall. He heard everything that I said but did not mention anything. His arms around my shoulder probably meant that he approved of me. I shook his hands and later left the apartment.
Then I walked to the lift and pressed the lift button. Within me I was trembling, half with embarrassment and half with anger. Also, deep within, I felt emptiness. Anyway I was glad that after worshipping her for four years, I had finally told her. At that moment, I heard a voice shouting “John!”
I turned around and saw Jane running towards me. She threw herself into my arms and held on to me tightly. I hugged her. I could never describe the overwhelming happiness when she finally said the words “I love you, John”.
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