I ate them. That’s right. I ate the divorce papers, Charles. I ate them with ketchup. And they were good… goooood. You probably want me to get serious about our divorce. The thing is you always called our marriage a joke. So let’s use logic here: If A we never had a serious marriage then B we can’t have a serious divorce. No. We can’t. The whole thing’s a farce, Charles – a farce that tastes good with ketchup.
I mean, wasn’t it last week, your dad asked you the reason you walked down that aisle with me, and you said “for the exercise. ” Ha, ha. That’s funny.
You’re a funny guy, Charles. I’m laughing, not a crying. Ha, ha. I’m laughing because you’re about to give up on a woman who is infinitely lovable. For instance: Paul. He has loved me since the eighth grade. Sure, he’s a little creepy, but he reeeeally loves me.
He’s made one hundred twenty seven passes at me, proposed forty seven times, and sent me over two hundred original love sonnets. He sees something in me, Charles. And he writes it down, in metered verse! And that’s not something you just find every day; someone who really loves everything about who you are as a person.
Paul may be insane, but I value his feelings for me. I would never ask him to sign his name to a piece of paper promising to just turn off his feelings for me forever.
But that’s what you’re asking me to do, for you. To sign away my right to… to that sweet voice Charles, those baby brown eyes, the way your hands feel through my hair before bed… Those aren’t things I want to lose. In fact, I won’t lose them. I won’t lose you. I’ll woo you. I’ve written you a sonnet. “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely, and more temperate, rough winds do shake the darling buds of May and… ” I’m not crying. I’m laughing. It’s all a big joke. It’s very funny, Charles. I keep waiting for you to say “April Fools. ” Then I’ll rush into your arms and… But you’re not going to, are you? No, of course not it’s not April. I, I didn’t really write that sonnet, you know. Paul did. I think it’s good. You see, the truth… the truth is, Charles, I ate the divorce papers, I ate them, because I can’t stomach the thought of losing you.
Remember! This is just a sample.
You can get a custom paper by one of our expert writers.
Get your custom essay
Helping students since 2015
Essay Writing Service Features
Our Experience
No matter how complex your assignment is, we can find the right professional for your specific task. Contact Essay is an essay writing company that hires only the smartest minds to help you with your projects. Our expertise allows us to provide students with high-quality academic writing, editing & proofreading services.
Free Features
Free revision policy
$10Free bibliography & reference
$8Free title page
$8Free formatting
$8How Our Essay Writing Service Works
First, you will need to complete an order form. It's not difficult but, in case there is anything you find not to be clear, you may always call us so that we can guide you through it. On the order form, you will need to include some basic information concerning your order: subject, topic, number of pages, etc. We also encourage our clients to upload any relevant information or sources that will help.
Complete the order form
Once we have all the information and instructions that we need, we select the most suitable writer for your assignment. While everything seems to be clear, the writer, who has complete knowledge of the subject, may need clarification from you. It is at that point that you would receive a call or email from us.
Writer’s assignment
As soon as the writer has finished, it will be delivered both to the website and to your email address so that you will not miss it. If your deadline is close at hand, we will place a call to you to make sure that you receive the paper on time.
Completing the order and download