Counseling mainly is a form of therapy which allows people to discuss the different kinds of problems that they face and help them to discuss them in a safe and also confidential environment. When people want o change something that bothering them in their lives or simply want to take part in any sort of exploration of their feelings and thoughts with more depth, they tend to seek proper counseling sessions (Okun &Kanrowitz, 2014). A counselor does not only sit and advice the client about what to do in life. Rather they encourage their clients to discuss the various incidents of the situations that are bothering them. This helps them to uncover any sort of root causes and also helps in identification of specific ways of thinking (Wang, 2015). It is mainly followed by the counselor’s creating a plan in order to help the client reconcile the issues or provide assistance for helping the client to find different ways of coping with the situations.
Counseling mainly helps us indifferent types of situation like addictions, bereavement, bullying, trauma, illness, relationships, mental health issues and also in help in coping many other conditions. There are different modes of counseling that a client can undertake. This usually involves individual or group counseling, face to face counseling, telephonic counseling, online counseling and others as well (Sharf, 2016). Often different types of therapies are adapted by counselors for the best effect on the client will often involves Behavioral therapy, art therapy, cognitive therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, humanistic therapies, psychoanalysis and many others.
One of the most important skills that should be possessed by a counselor is the communication skills. Active listening along with the encouraging the clients by the right and relevant open ended questions help the client to keep on track the counselor also should have the capability to listen what is not being said (Rats et al., 2015). A counselor should have the skill to interpret and also use non verbal communication modes that include, correct pitch and voice tone. Posture, facial expressions, unconscious movements and gestures to correctly express him and also understand what the client wants to express (Pope & Vasques, 2016). Proper paraphrasing and then summarizing the clients’ feelings to bring it in few words are an exceptional power of effective communication by counselors.
Another important skill that needs to be discussed is the self reflection skill of the counselors. A counselor should have the capability to think well within themselves so that they can undertake careful analysis of the others. A counselor should have the skill to feel well, think well and also act well at the same time. By feeling well, he can relate with the clients well and also empathize with her. By the second step of thinking well, the counselor can conceptualize every observation from the client in theoretical terms where he can have the scope for the demonstration of good academic skills (Mihaela & Cristina, 2015). By the term of acting well, it usually means that the counselor should be able to conduct himself for providing the best service to not only the client, but also to the community and also enhance himself in the professional field.
The third important skill is the ability to listen on the multiple levels. A counselor needs to understand beyond what is being said to him by the client. This means that he needs to listen and at the same time evaluate about how it is being said, what is the exact meaning in the things said (Welfel, 2015). The content, delivery and also the context need to be analyzed. Another important part of effective listening is that the counselor should know the exact way of listening a client without judgment. A client coming with difficult and grave situations to discs must never feel that the counselor is jumping to conclusion without listening him properly. Therefore a counselor would develop the skill of practicing the non reactive stance (Bluestein, 2013). He should also develop the skill to learn the differences that exist between observation and also evaluation to make right assessments at the same tome of developing connection with the client.
The skill that needs to be possessed by the counselor is that he should be accessible to his clients who will help him to develop trust but also at the same time he should have the skill of being genuine and also empathetic (Digby & Ferrari, 2016). These attributes of the counselors should be reflected in his communication, listening as well as the professional personality developing an authentic empathetic relation with each of steps of the therapeutic processes is one of the most important aspects of the effective counselor- client relationship.
Another very important skill that needed to be possessed by the counselor is flexibility. This is often said so because he need to have a detailed knowledge as well as proper understanding of the multiculturism issues in various types of clinical practices. Each and every patient that he would encounter may come from different background, have different experiences and also have different forms of engagement in different relationships (Sommers – Flanagan et al., 2015). Therefore the counselor often tends to switch from one client to another client and therefore he has to undergo transition from one perspective to another based on each of the client. Thus, the counselor needs to be flexible enough to provide the best result to each and every of the patients so that they can live quality lives (Berra, Rippe & Manson, 2015).
On Tuesday morning, I received a student as his patient who was about 7 years old and had accompanied his mother. She reported that her son Alan is very introvert and often tends to be unfriendly with his friends at school and does not communicate with anyone other than his mother. While communicating with him, I noticed him to be answering me in words and therefore I started asking him questions in a way to which he could answer me in greater details. His communication skills were very well developed in the sense that it made him feel at ease and he started relying on me and felt that I could be his best companion. I was empathetic towards him and even as a child he could understand his authenticity. As a result his accessibility could be easily understood from the way I tried to mould his feelings about his estranged parents indicating him to be human being born to spread love and be friends among his schoolmates. Moreover besides, authenticity it also portrayed a change in his feelings mainly due to the effective communication that I became successful to establish with him. Therefore, from these achievement I developed a feeling that both not only his communication skill but his skills of authenticity as well as his accessibility towards his patient had been successful in making me achieve his goal of trying take his client’s life easier.
His previous patient was an old lady who was suffering from the pangs of her deceased husband and has been suffering from depression. However when I attended his new client, I noticed that this client had backgrounds and demands which were very different from the previous client. Their necessities were different and therefore they needed different modes of procedures to handle the clients (Bryant et al., 2014). His flexibility to handle two different cases back to back acted as a supportive skill which helped me to handle both the cases with the best outcomes. His flexibility also helped me to handle the old patient and also the student client with equal ease and both seemed to be happy at the end of the sessions.
His ability to effectively listen to the client at multiple levels also helped me to analyze not only what he said about his parents and friends but also helped me to understand the different types of angst he had garnered over the childhood years, his unexpressed feelings, his fears and many other attributes which he did not mention. Therefore I realized that effective listening and closely analyzing him, did not only help me to know what he had inside him but also helped me to understand his way of talking habits that he possess and the fears that he had trapped inside him for his parents. I also noticed that I have also developed the skill of self reflection. Not only I feel well about the profession that I had taken and handling each of the client in receive, I also think critically so that I can provide the best solutions to the clients after properly conceptualizing the clients through academic skills. The last part of self reflection is the acting part where I had actively acted upon the necessities of the student so that he can get the best service from me. As I was able to actively develop and apply his skills for handling his student client, I became very confident that I can handle all his clients effectively and this confidence will in turn help me to overcome different barrier and move forward in life.
Me: Hi Mrs. Ginger, how are you doing this morning? And who is this gentleman accompanying you?
Mrs. Ginger: This is his son Allan and I want you to have a talk with him. He is very introvert and does not talk to any of his friends at school.
Me: Can I have session with your son? (Asking for permission as he is a minor)
Mrs Ginger: Yes, sure! I will wait outside.
Me: Hi young man!
Allan: (looks but not responds)
Me: I know that you are a very good boy listening to your parents, right ?
Allan: at this he looks up at me and says “I love his mother only”
Me: understanding that he has no liking for his father “Your mother really makes wonderful breakfasts. His mother also prepared that for me and I used to carry them to his school also”
Allan: feeling excited of his talking about schooldays and finding a similarity “his mother also makes wonderful French toasts and they are delicious”
To these I understood that he had no liking for father and loves his mother for all her caring traits. To these I asked:
Me: Don’t you share your Tiffin with your school friends?
Allan: no (does not say anything)
Me: Do you know all good boys share their gifts and food with their friends. Aren’t you a good boy?
Allan: remained silent.
Me: if you share your food, they will become your friends.
Allan: to this he looked at me raising his head “they will never be his friends as I have no father. If I become friends, they will ask me about his dad.
Me: Allan, do you know that they say these things to you as you do not clear their questions. If you clearly say them that your father lives in another state and comes for visits during the summer, they will never say so.
Allan: I do not want to say them anything.
Me: you know why wildebeests stay in pack? You must have checked the Discovery channel?
Allan: no
Me: They stay in packs so that they can remain safe from enemies. If any enemies attack them, they can fight back.
Allan: really?
Me: if you remain with your friends, you can be helped by them when you are in danger. Moreover you can play with them, talk with them, sing with them……..
Allan: (he got excited and said) ….. And fight tigers together because we are all strong as wildebeests….
Me: yes exactly and that how you all fight dangers…. And therefore how will you answer when your friend want to talk to you?
Allan: I will not keep silent and will try to be friends with everyone.
Me: sure?
Allan: But if they ask me about his father? He quarrels with his mother whenever he comes … (again becomes low)
Me: Allan, don’t you know that your father is very busy with his own homework. As he is very big man, therefore he has lots of homework to do… therefore he cannot come to meet you often or drop you to school dear…. Can you be absent at school and go to other places?
Allan: no….. I also have homework to do.
Me: exactly dear, as he has lots of home work to do, he faces tension and quarrels with mom. When his homework will be over, he will never do so.
Allan: okay…. I will tell his mother that papa also has lots of homework and nit to disturb him.
Me: and what will you tell your friends?
Allan: I will share his tiffin and talk with everyone. I will tell them that of we all remain together we will fight tigers like wildebeests.
Me: that so good! What will you like to do now Allan?
Allan: Can I draw a wildebeest and………
I saw him drawing large number of wildebeests and writing names like Allan, Mina, Troy, John…and his other friends…
While communicating with Allan, it was noticed that the main problem faced was the flow of the communication discourse. Although a successful communication was established with the help of a proper communication skill, however it did not proceed in a step wise manner and the discussion seemed to be fluctuating from the topic of friends to his parents and vice versa. It might be due to the application method of the communication which was not apt to give it a cascade like smoothness while proceeding with the discussion with Allan. The inappropriate and unplanned method of asking questions might be the main barriers.
Another barrier that hugely took a toll on his counseling sessions was maintaining the authenticity of the session. Although the counselor was genuinely sympathetic with the entire condition through which Allan was going through in his life, he had to made up several made up incidents regarding childhood in order to impress him. This was mainly done in order to establish a friendly relationship. He had to reorganize made up situations to gain trust. These acted as a barrier while exhibiting the skill of authenticity although he was overtly empathetic with his situations. Though the false situations helped the counselor, but they acted as barriers in establishing his authenticity in his counseling sessions.
The skill of listening to the client at multiple levels was obstructed severely as the counselor got confused about the real issue that was bothering his client.He tried to listen and judge him from his various ways of reaction and the faces he made while each topic was discussed. He got confused about the real problem of the child regarding whether his main issue was the arguments within his parents or the fact that he feared making friends due to his father’s negligence on their family. However he tried his best to critically combine the issue and provide solution, time constraints and also the child’s habit of quickly jumping on solutions made me confused how to proceed with the counseling. At one moment he is excited about wildebeest and at the other moment, he was sad about his parent’s argument. This alternating mood of the child created a barrier in the listening capacity at various levels failing to judge his actual feelings at the end of the session.
The skill of self reflection was not well conducted as the processed were not maintained in a definitive pathway. This skill which suggests of sequentially moving from thinking well, feeling well and acting well could not be fitted in the session. It was noticed that due to mood swings of the child, he was at one time sad, at one time excited, and at one time unhappy and acted similarly. This acted as the barrier to his sequentially moving of the self reflection skill. Therefore when the child wanted to draw wildebeest, he could not become sure whether he was successful or not in his attempts. However his drawing gave hope of his modifications for the better.
Time constraints acted as barrier in his flexibility to shift from the previous case of the old woman to the new child having different issues. It was completely revolving in the mind, but serious attempts were made to keep such cases different.
Therefore time constraints, rapid mood swings of the child, confusion about the real cause of worry, lack of proper questioning technique and others created barriers in the skills needed to be displayed.
References
Mihaela, N. A., & Cristina, I. G. (2015). A RESEARCH ON THE EDUCATIONAL COUNSELING AND CAREER GUIDANCE IN ROMANIA. European Scientific Journal, ESJ, 11(3).
Digby, J. K., & Ferrari, T. M. (2016). Camp counseling and the development and transfer of workforce skills: The perspective of Ohio 4-H camp counselor alumni. Journal of Youth Development, 2(2), 103-122.
Sommers-Flanagan, J., & Sommers-Flanagan, R. (2015). Counseling and psychotherapy theories in context and practice: Skills, strategies, and techniques. John Wiley & Sons.
Berra, K., Rippe, J., & Manson, J. E. (2015). Making physical activity counseling a priority in clinical practice: the time for action is now. Jama, 314(24), 2617-2618.
Bryant, C., Lewis, P., Bennell, K. L., Ahamed, Y., Crough, D., Jull, G. A., … & Keefe, F. J. (2014). Can physical therapists deliver a pain coping skills program? An examination of training processes and outcomes. Physical therapy, 94(10), 1443
Okun, B., & Kantrowitz, R. (2014). Effective helping: Interviewing and counseling techniques. Nelson Education.
Wagner, T. (2014). The Global Achievement Gap: Why Even Our Best Schools DonÕt Teach the New Survival Skills Our Children NeedÑand What We Can Do About It. Basic Books.
Ratts, M. J., Singh, A. A., Nassar-McMillan, S., Butler, S. K., McCullough, J. R., & Hipolito-Delgado, C. (2015). Multicultural and social justice counseling competencies. AMCD: Alexandria, VA.
Sharf, R. S. (2016). Applying career development theory to counseling. Cengage Learning.
Wheeler, A. M., & Bertram, B. (2015). The counselor and the law: A guide to legal and ethical practice. John Wiley & Sons.
Corey, G. (2015). Theory and practice of counseling and psychotherapy. Nelson Education.
Wade, S. L., Stancin, T., Kirkwood, M., & Brown, T. M. (2014). Counselor-assisted problem solving (CAPS) improves behavioral outcomes in older adolescents with complicated mild to severe TBI. The Journal of head trauma rehabilitation, 29(3), 198.
Okun, B., & Kantrowitz, R. (2014). Effective helping: Interviewing and counseling techniques. Nelson Education.
Blustein, D. (2013). The psychology of working: A new perspective for career development, counseling, and public policy. Routledge.
Pope, K. S., & Vasquez, M. J. (2016). Ethics in psychotherapy and counseling: A practical guide. John Wiley & Sons.
Sharf, R. S. (2016). Applying career development theory to counseling. Cengage Learning.
Wang, K. T. (2015). Research design in counseling. Nelson Education
Welfel, E. R. (2015). Ethics in counseling & psychotherapy. Cengage Learning.
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