Importance of Self-love Before, Throughout and After Marriage Free Essay Example

Marriage is an essential step in life when one chooses to go down that path. The union will bind the love that each person has to one another. It symbolizes support, trust, happiness and overall infinite love to one another. Love is an essential feeling to have before marriage because it is critical to have a close relationship with one another, with the person whom they can turn to when they have tremendous or unfortunate news. With marriage, they promise there significant other that they will be a better half and work on the relationship for the worst or best.

The beautiful thing about love is that first, they should find it within themselves. It is good to put energy toward making themselves and the marriage better. Marriage is fantastic, its best when two people feel happy and feel confident with themselves, two people who know each other and are happy just by being who they are.

Before taking a huge step, it is essential to accept and love who they are. Being in touch with the core and thinking things through is essential. While living a single life, that is an excellent opportunity to take care of themselves and by taking care of their needs. They should believe that they are a whole person just by being themselves, it is very vital for a future healthy relationship. Not feeling complete or happy with themselves can lead them to the wrong person, they should see themselves as a happy and whole person with a great life ahead of them.

With time they can think about what they are looking in a person. They can think about the qualities they dislike and like in a person, that way if someone comes along he or she can see if that person connects with them. Patience comes with knowing what they want. With being happy with themselves, they will not feel the need to be rushing anything.

With being independent, they will fulfill their desires and set out goals to achieve them. Practicing self-care and healthy boundaries are valuable to manage. When practicing good habits in the present, it will lead up to practicing good habits in the future for a healthy relationship. It will give them time to search for the best path to take. The right person will support and encourage whatever they choose to pursue.

Marriage will be a great journey. ‘Marriage is supposed to be free of the coercion, violence, and gender inequalities that were tolerated in the past’ (Coontz 8). It is a journey, not a destination. The happiness is a crucial factor, but it will come and go, being a successful coupe would involve learning to intentionally do things that will bring the joy back when the difficulties of life might pull it away. They both will learn to love each other more in ways they never thought they could. The more mature two people learn to be the more depth of understanding they will have of what love truly means. Love is like a recipe; there need to be ingredients for it to come together as one. Love is essential and critical, but there’s so much more as well.

There should be a right balance with spending time together and spending time apart. ‘Self-assured partners believe in their core worth — and are not afraid to reveal how that makes them worthy as a mate’ (Schwartz, par. 6). There should be trust and lots of respect for matters like these. Couples can argue for small issues like these, personal space and trust improve a relationship with the correct boundaries. There shouldn’t be fighting, but there should be a healthy way to get to an agreement ultimately. With marriage, they have become a family, a team. Both should be equally willing to make adjustments in the relationship when needed; both should be comfortable with speaking to each other about issues brought up. At the beginning of the relationship, it was mostly about self-revelation but as the relationship develops into something more severe as marriage it involves unity and communication.

A successful marriage involves being on the same page. Taking decisions were both have a say. To make a marriage last isn’t complicated but both will have to work hard every single day to make it work.’The people who have stable, happy relationships are much gentler with one another than people who have unhappy relationships'(Miller, par. 26). It is not just about thinking they have found the right person it is about knowing that that person is the right person. It is imperative to know that they love this person that they have fallen in love. Things can get complicated if the person confuses love with lust.

Those are two very different feelings with can be easily confused if the couple does not know each other well. A happy marriage involves even if hardships emerge or whatever the problem will be, and they will both know that whatever it is they will both find a solution and not let the issue or issues become an obstacle in the marriage. With marriage comes much responsibility, both of them are planning on growing older together and learning about each other every day.

Marriage should not be seen or pressured as something that we all have to do. Thinking it through and knowing that are ready to find a particular person to share a wonderful life with is impressive. There should be an understanding of what they both want in the future on what they both have thought about and have their heart set on. Marriage should bind two people who genuinely care about each other and will love each other no matter what can happen. Through the hardships and the good times, they will always be committed to each other and work hard at what they do not just by themselves but with each other. Being married does have its difficult moment a lot of unexpected issues will come, but there should be more focus on the decisive moments. Not just necessarily starting a family like most people may think but getting to genuinely love being with each others company and knowing that both will take care of each other. Both will encourage each other goals and will have to sacrifice a few things for each other, but it should not be unexpected.

It should feel amazing having their best friend with them all the time. Feeling safe with one another and knowing that it will be ok and the hard times will pass. Marriage may never be perfect, but it can be amazing to experience and live through. Getting to have their best friend for the rest of their life. Even though during this time divorces do happen, they are learning experiences. What if the marriage is not looking well? Communication is key.

We know we all aren’t perfect, but we can always improve. Marriage is often about fighting the battles between their ears. Being a successful couple involves having learned to resist holding grudges and bringing up the past. They remember that they got married as imperfect people. Having a genuine connection with one another is an excellent way to try to improve with marriage. Going out on dates and starting to learn more about each other can speak the love and appreciation for one another. It is good to share their feelings and not try to hide their emotions. There may be resentment held towards one another, and they both might think arguing is the way to answer it, but it is not. Their partner does love and cares about them but if they are not talking about what they feel and discussing issues the marriage can collapse and ultimately end.

Positive memories are the ones that should be shared and remembered over and over, and the bad memories are the ones that should be learned from and not fought over repeatedly. Even though they two are alike in many ways, they are also different, and compromise should always be on the table. Not just one making the other happy it should be a relationship were they both make decisions to make each other happy. The relationship starts a seed, once it matures, that is when it becomes a plant and blooms just like a marriage. This plant cannot survive without proper water, sunshine and lots of love it is a huge responsibility that needs constant attention. This plant is not expected to be put into a corner without any care and be expected to grow, and the opposite will happen this plant will die without the proper energy put into it. A relationship is like a beautiful plant that they both grow together. They can also see how marriage can be like a marathon, it will be a long journey but pacing themselves is essential. Doing well requires hard work every day. Things might not get better instantly if there’s not time or love invested into the relationship. If the couple wants the marriage to work, they have to work on it daily and not give up on something they have worked so hard on. There’s always hope of saving a relationship, and it just depends if the couple it to work. They got married for a reason, they both love and trust each other enough to get married, and second chances do exist depending on the situation, and everybody is different.

An unfortunate issue in a relationship can be insecurity, one person might want more attention and would like to feel assured by their loved one, they will confuse that assurance from their partner as loving them. ‘We all know that it takes two people to make a good marriage last. One person cannot make it happen without the other person also being willing to invest and grow’ (Stanley, par. 16). They can focus their energy on several critical areas of life, not just one. If they have done everything they believe they can to try to save the marriage and nothing is changing having the courage to move on and to move forward will pay off in the long run. They will stop putting all our energy into a relationship that longer works and move that energy into improving and themselves.

It starts with the questions to why the relationship has to end. Some may can’t imagine a good life after the divorce, but everything will turn around for the best. There are numerous reasons why couples might want to get a divorce. There can be a lack of commitment, too much arguing, and conflict, not dealing responsibly with financial problems, possibly getting married at a young age, lack of individual identity, not having a shared vision of success, and much more the list can go on. At times people get married for the wrong reasons. ‘Relationships that are not healthy are based on power and control, not equality and respect.’ (‘What is a Healthy Relationship?’).

Getting a divorce takes time and takes being mature to each other to separate from each other. “The association between husband’s marital quality and life satisfaction is buoyed when his wife also reports a happy marriage, yet flattened when his wife reports low marital quality”(Carr et al. par. 1). Seeing the positive side of divorce, it clears the way for themselves to meet the right partner. It can be an excruciating process it can be seen as pulling off a band-aid. The anticipation is terrible but once it was over and done with, right after it can be relieving.

After a divorce, they can find themselves again and remember to love themselves no matter what happens. Now is the time when to genuinely find happiness and appreciate life for what is yet to come and learn from the bad marriage that they have experienced. According to McCarthy et al., ‘the most important guideline is to learn from the past. Focus on positive motivations for examining the past. Celebrate and incorporate positive learnings that promote healthy outcomes. Be aware of negative learnings, viewing them as ‘traps’ to monitor so you do not repeat them’ (ch.3). There will be more time for solitude which is different from being lonely. Having isolation is a gift, they can learn to enjoy being alone.

That will be the time to value how important they are to themselves. It might have forgotten how magnificent it is to be themselves. Without a purpose, it may feel like a piece of driftwood floating around without a goal. Living a life based on themselves with purpose, soon they will live a life with integrity. It is the time to be true to themselves. To move forward and let go of any guilt or anger from the divorce. Stay mindful and open to positive thoughts.

It is good to believe in authenticity or nothing. It should have something authentic or nothing authentic at all. The marriage was agreed because both thought that it would compliment each other. If staying in an unhappy and unhealthy marriage, is staying unhappy. It would not be fair to themselves or a spouse to remain in an unhappy marriage. Thinking about it, only they are the only person in the whole world responsible for there happiness, and if divorce is necessary, it is ok to move forward. The feeling of true love and attachment might not be there anymore, but they should try to leave off things on respectful terms.

Saying goodbye is no walk in the park but after they can live in peace. It will be good to keep things positive. A happier future will keep them a more positive person. The drama of the relationship should be left behind, and they should be able to breathe and relax. One the divorce happens they will feel the happiness again something they may have lost in the divorce. They should have time to distance themselves from all the hurt that came from a bad relationship. Its ok to be angry but they should not let the pain consume their emotions. It is better to look at the brighter side of things.

Life is not over it is just a chapter in there book that they should close and move on to start a fresh new one. Love should not be given up, and they can find the right person it just takes time. They should love themselves enough to know that they deserve the very best. The right person will not want to leave what they can have with them. It is also an excellent time to surround themselves with people who will appreciate the love them. With divorce should come forgiveness, that can allow themselves to move past the issue and start living a new life.

Overall love is vital for many reasons, but self-love is essential too. Someone else can’t complete them or make them whole. They should learn to achieve themselves and not feel the need for someone else to complete them. Having lots of love towards themselves is easy to master, the happiness should come from within them. Without self-love, there can be a failed marriage. Self-love should be the first journey of life that way if marriage is considered it will last long and follow positive steps.

They should love everything about themselves, if not it can lead them down a path they might not have expected to take. It is difficult for many, but it is not impossible. Confidence goes way deeper than it looks, which can be something that many people can fail to understand. Being confident gives them a chance to be themselves. With confidence, there can be positivity. Loving themselves is more than just being confident. To enjoy themselves is seeing themselves as a whole. Focusing more on what they know they are capable at rather than how other people see them. It knows how to deal with unfortunate situations.

What if they do not dare to forgive themselves, they will not have the ability to forgive their partner. They have to understand who their authentic self is. There are so many key points to come to accept. If they can not handle criticism, the relationship will stay stagnant. They should know what they want, or else they will not know how to ask for it.

If they do not understand who they are first without a relationship, then it will not be known who they are in one. Treating themselves with respect will only aid there future self and relationships. Other people might treat them the way they see them treat themselves. When they treat themselves with love and respect others will see and want to do the same for them. A personal relationship has love and respect just like any other relationship, but this relationship is extra important because it is one that they are going to have for the rest of her life, so it is best to make it the best relationship they have ever had. If they give up on themselves, they will be giving up on love.

In conclusion, where there is self-love, there is room for a relationship to grow. ‘ Once you are at a place where you love yourself, only then are you ready to start giving everyone else more reasons than ever to love you too’ (Negroni, par. 20). Love is not the only factor to start on the right path; it is an important one. However, there’s much more to it. Relationships will work out if they work on themselves. Self-love helps them become the best version of themselves. It is the ultimate commitment to getting to know and accept themselves as they are. To fully experience life as it goes on. It is giving them unconditional respect and appreciation of being great. When they understand and act on the unconditional love that they have for themselves, they will be able to navigate themselves through life with more profound compassion. With loving themselves, it can erase the negative things they feel about themselves and make them feel good enough. One day all the negativity can be outweighed by the positives, they should wake up every day and love who they are..