Self-Improvement Of A Communication Skill

Understanding Anger and Its Management

Discuss about the Self Improvement of a Communication Skill.

As a human being, I have shortcomings that impair my communication. I have discovered that I have trouble in controlling my temper when faced by some situations. When I am talking, I do not like to be interrupted. I overlook instances of interruptions regularly. However, in some cases an individual becomes meddlesome and rude to me, making me lose my cool and respond with heated remarks and gestures that visibly communicate my anger. These occurrences of anger outburst are threatening my working relations with colleagues as well as putting my job in line. Therefore, I need to work on managing my anger urgently.

Anger is an emotional response to perceived threat or hurt that occurs when a person faces potential or experiences violation of personal boundaries (Hall, 2009). Anger management involves learning to recognize anger signs and taking necessary action to calm down and handle the situation in a positive manner. Anger management aims to assist people learn how to express anger in a healthy way (Epstein, 2016). To manage anger successfully the patient must be in a position to identify the kind of environment that is most likely to raise temperaments and identify the signs and symptoms that indicate raising tempers. This will enable the patient take corrective measures when they are aware of how and when they are likely to experience anger (Sedikides & Strube, 1995).

According to Deffenbacher, and Alcázar (2014) anger involves a combination of behavioral, cognitive, social and physiological components and affects a vast majority of people. To help people control anger, psychologist use models or theories related to Cognitive Behavior Therapy. These models include; behavior theory, cognitive behavior theory and rational emotive behavior theory.

Behavior theory believes that individuals respond to events depending on what they experienced in similar situations previously. Sofronoff, et al (2007) says that these behaviors can be changed through learning as they are not permanent. Anger is learnt as an aggressive way of responding to environmental obstacles. Therefore, anger is reduced by application of behavior modification programs (Massah, et al 2016).

According to cognitive behavior theory, the mediating factor between one’s response to an event and the event itself is the cognitions (Sofronoff, et al, 2007). Therefore, the behavior follows a stimulus cognition sequence. According to Sofronoff, et al (2007) there is three hypothetical factors involved in emotions that include; cognitive triad that describes how an individual views self, world and future negatively and the schema that describes an individual’s underlying assumptions regarding life. Based on these two assumptions the individual distorts reality. The third assumption is cognitive distortions that include misinterpretations held by the individual about the environment. These factors result to an individual having emotions regarding particular events (Faupel, Herrick & Sharp, 2010).

Behavior and Cognitive Behavior Theory

To manage anger one should exercise regularly to keep fit. According to Down, Willner, Watts & Griffiths (2011) cortisol and adrenaline hormones are realized in the body when a person is angry. Regular exercises enable the body to regulate the production of adrenaline and cortisol effectively increasing endorphins, the hormones that enhance feeling good reducing the likelihood of anger remarkably. In addition, it is important to accept that people are different and we cannot control they feel, believe or behave and they cannot be how we would like them to be (Xiang, 2008). Therefore, there is no need for holding grudges against people as this will only make you angry yet you cannot change other people’s behavior. According to Down, et al (2011) taking slow breaths and relaxing help in reversing physical symptoms of anger reducing the chances of an outburst of harmful emotions when faced by a provoking situation.

To manage my temperaments I will take the following measures for two consecutive weeks and observe assess the gains made after that period.

Exercise: I will jog for 30 minutes every morning in a bid to keep fit and regulate the production of adrenaline and cortisol hormones in my body that induce anxiety and anger. People who exercise regularly have been found to experience less anger episodes compared to those who do not exercise (Reynolds, 2010).

At work when confronted by occurrences that provoke my anger, I will practice to calm down by taking deep breath, excuse myself and take some time off to cool down and reflect on the best action to take regarding the matter. Deep breathing supplies the brain with enough oxygen reversing the distress message communicated to the brain when anxiety is triggered (Siegman & Smith (Eds.), 2013). This helps in calming the nerves giving room to clearer and rational thinking.

Another strategy I will adopt is to try not to keep grudges against colleagues who I consider to have a tendency of provoking me. Holding grudges increases the risk of high temperaments especially when having to deal with the people with whom you have a grudge (Hall, 2009).  To achieve this I intend to always approach the person in question and inform them of my feelings regarding their actions and then forgive the person. According to Barlow, (2007) opening up about ones feeling to a person who cause the harm helps both ease the anxiety of the victim as well as help the person causing the harm learn of their shortcomings. I will practice this exercise for the two weeks whenever confronted by provoking situations or persons at work.

Exercises, Acceptance, and Forgiveness

I choose to implement anger management strategies at work as I feel that my anger burst could in the long-run affect my working relations with colleagues therefore affecting productivity at work and eventually I could lose my job if my anger is not managed.

For the two weeks since I started my anger management program I woke up in at 5 am in the morning and did 30 minutes jog. In the first week, the activity was overwhelming and I thought of quitting. My friends though that I had started some weight management program and wondered if I was serious about the whole exercising issue. By the second week, I was enjoying the exercise and even added some extra 10 minutes to the activity during the last three day. 

In the second day of the program, we had a departmental meeting that involved a colleague who always had a way of getting to my nerves during progress reporting. He always had soothing negative to say about my work. This time he still criticized me as usual during the meeting. I fought hard not to respond, eventually managed to control my feelings by taking deep breaths and shortly leaving the room. This scenario repeated itself at the end of the week. Everyone in the department wondered why I did not respond in my usual old way. The departmental head felt it was rude on my part to leave the meeting on two subsequent occasions because of remarks made by my colleague. Therefore, he summoned me to his office. I explained to him the reasons behind my short exit from the meeting room. To my surprise, he supported my move and encouraged me to work hard in containing my anger.

After meeting the head of department, I invited the colleague who is always criticizing me for lunch, which he turned down. Two days later, I invited him again for lunch and this time he agreed to have lunch with me. I took this opportunity to talk to his calmly with him and inform him of my feelings every time he criticizes me during the meetings. At first, he denied but later accepted and opened up about his being jealous of how I present my work. He felt inadequate at work and so I encouraged him to develop some improvement strategies.

Developing the plan was not as hard but the implementation part was tricky, as I did not have a guarantee of getting the opportunity of putting the plan into practice. This is because you can plan to experience annoying situations. The two-week anger management program was a success. Jogging in the morning made me feel fresh and energized during the entire day therefore enabling me hold my cool in adversity. Taking deep breath and leaving the environment that triggered anger helped me analyze the situation and confront it correctly. I realized that my boss also supported my self-improvement program and had realized that I had a problem that needed immediate attention. I also realized that colleagues noted I had good presentation skills and envied my work. I managed to help the colleague who made my life hard realize and accept that he had a problem that he needed to work on.

For the two weeks, I can proudly say that I did not experience any anger outburst at work, as it was the case previously where I reported at least a case a week. On downside of colleagues thought, I was being rude when I left the meeting after my work was so negatively criticized. Furthermore, I realized that many people might be doing negative things as a cover-up for their shortcomings just like my colleague was doing.

References

Barlow, D. H. (2007). Principles and practice of stress management. P. M. Lehrer, R. L. Woolfolk, & W. E. Sime (Eds.). Guilford Press.

Deffenbacher, J. L., & Alcázar, R. J. (2014). Anger Management During Adulthood. In    Encyclopedia of Primary Prevention and Health Promotion (pp. 1585-1596). Springer US.

Down, R., Willner, P., Watts, L., & Griffiths, J. (2011). Anger management groups for adolescents: A mixed-methods study of efficacy and treatment preferences. Clinical child psychology and psychiatry, 16(1), 33-52.

Epstein, N. B. (2016). Anger Management Self-Talk. Techniques for the Couple Therapist:  Essential Interventions from the Experts, 111.

Faupel, A., Herrick, E., & Sharp, P. M. (2010). Anger management: A practical guide.Routledge.

Hall, S. P. (2009). Anger, rage and relationship: An empathic approach to anger management. Routledge.

Massah, O., Sohrabi, F., A’azami, Y., Doostian, Y., Farhoudian, A., & Daneshmand, R. (2016). Effectiveness of gross model-based emotion regulation strategies training on             anger reduction in drug-dependent individuals and its sustainability in follow-up.  International journal of high risk behaviors & addiction, 5(1).

Reynolds, G. R. E. T. C. H. E. N. (2010). Phys Ed: The Benefits of Exercising Before Breakfast. New York Times.

Sedikides, C., & Strube, M. J. (1995). The multiply motivated self. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 21(12), 1330-1335.

Siegman, A. W., & Smith, T. W. (Eds.). (2013). Anger, hostility, and the heart. Psychology Press.

Sofronoff, K., Attwood, T., Hinton, S., & Levin, I. (2007). A randomized controlled trial of a cognitive behavioural intervention for anger management in children diagnosed with   Asperger syndrome. Journal of autism and developmental disorders, 37(7), 1203-     1214.

Xiang, C. H. E. N. (2008). On Competitors’ Psychology and Cultivation of Their Ideal Individuality-Research into the Relationship between Competitors’ Psychology Training and Laozi and Zhuangzi Thought [J]. Journal of Gansu Normal Colleges, 2,     040.