Discuss about the Love Among Men And Women.
The concept of love among men and women have different meanings among the different genders as suggested by Simone de Beauvoir. In her book The Second Sex she seeks to explore the inauthentic love experienced by the different genders as according to her authentic love is very tough to achieve. One of the important issues in the difference of the conception of love in the mind of the people in the society. The authentic love is the concept of the unconditional love of a woman towards the mankind that takes into account the concept of love to be free from the wants and desires emotionally and materialistically (Leighton).
The inauthentic love is the love that is also called the conditional love as it is based on the emotional and psychological dependence or other such needs and desires of humans (Leighton). Simone de Beauvoir takes into account the inauthentic love taking into account the factors and the conditions that guide the love of man and women and how they love differently in those conditions.
The aspects relating the concept of love between the psyches of man women are quiet different in the various situation in the society. As Beauvoir puts it the ideal difference in the concept of the social constructs of the upbringing of the different genders in the society. the concept of the social acculturation is the most important factor that affects the idea of love among the different genders. The women are accultured often to have a love that is considered an idolatry love. The women when they love the person have this idea of completely given themselves in to the identity of their beloved making the idea of idolating complete (Beauvoir).
In this process the women treat their beloved as an epitome of god and the one who cannot have any flaws. One of the important aspects in this contexts is that when the man is not able to live up the expectations it affects the psyche of the woman and her overall behavior towards the relationship itself. One of the most important aspect in this context is the fact that the different ideals of love that co-exist in the ideas of love and relationship in the society (Lundgren-Gothlin). Another important aspect in this context is the fact that the ideas of love, worship and objectification of self is presented in the essay as the people in the society. the love of a woman in the idolatry form of love is the giving up of herself to the identity of the man she loves gradually acquiring the tastes and the habits of the man she loves. The validation that the woman consistently need from her beloved establishes her identity as the person. The need of the constant validation of the woman from her man establishes the man as the master which also puts upon him the responsibility to live up to the expectation of the woman,
The concept of the love of man is defined by a number of situations that guide the life of the man in the society. When the man is living in the society they are n a constant terror to live up to the expectation of the society or ‘be a man’ in the social perception. There is a sub-man who is constantly burdened by his own existence as he is in constant fear of the external factors that affect the external situations in the society.
One of the important aspects in this context is the fact that the people are constantly in fear of the external factors and the scenarios which act as the catalysts to the situations affecting their lives and decisions. Then there is the serious man who is in constant persuasion of his goals and he is a complete slave to the situations that may guide him towards his goals and he may be able to give himself and the relations that he possess in the sacrifice for the achievement of those goals (Beauvoir).
The serious man validated his existence in terms of the material possession that he achieves in his life instead of the emotional and psychological subjugation like the woman he loves. In achieving the materialistic possessions the serious man tends to overlook the intricate beauties of life and sacrifices his own freedom in living the life that he wishes to achieve overlooking the needs of the relationships and other aspects in that context. Thirdly, there is the adventurous man who takes everything in life as a new adventure and is very excited about the different aspects of the achievements of his life and the society (Beauvoir). One of the major issues in the context is the fact that he is very overzealous in the achievement of the different aspects relating to his life. He asserts his freedom to strongly and overlooks the freedom of others in this scenario.
Finally, Beauvoir presents the passionate man who is the balance between the adventurous and the serious man. He tends to achieve the freedom in his life and work towards the achievements of the different goals and unlike the serious man he under the subjectivity of the achievement of the goals and gives its due importance o’ the freedom that he has in his life. One of the important context in this scenario is the fact that the passionate man is the closest one that exists to the free man. Free man as Beauvoir defines is the person who intends to liberate himself from the boundaries of the society and help others in achievement of their freedom. According to Beauvoir, the freedom is the most important for the relationship of mutual happiness and respect towards the two individuals (Beauvoir). According to her when a woman is giving in to a man whom she loves she has to make sure that she does not have to give herself up to someone who does not prioritize her existence.
On the other hand the men in the perusal of their goals must be too engrossed in the different aspects and situations to overlook the needs or the women. Therefore the authentic love that a person feels is the complete love which is unconditionally and such a love and freedom can only be given by a free man who acknowledges the freedom and the importance of the others in the society. The overall importance that is given to the people in the society is very much dependent on the various aspects consisting of the psychological constructs built by the society.
The social constructs greatly affects the perceptions regarding the love and the relationships in the society. The love of the woman is of complete subjugation towards her man while the love of the man demands freedom which puts a fallacy in the relationship. The man in their different forms fail to acknowledge the importance of love and relationship in the life. The complete love that is benifi9cial for both needs to be free from the different subjugated forces for both the man and the woman. The man and the woman should feel free for the reciprocal love to exist between the two and the feeling to be equal. The very idea of woman when she goes on to love her beloved giver identity into himself, giving him importance and validation as the aster of her existence. This puts a fallacy and problem in her existential life is very dependent on the man that she idolizes and the man cannot fulfill those needs most of the expectations that a woman possesses (McCall).
This is because the man themselves cannot rise too much beyond their mortal self in their love and on the other hand he has subconsciously become the master of the existence of a complete person. The fallacy in the difference of love and the burden of expectation is too intimidating for the sub-man, a bit to restraining in the path of success of a serious man and too binding for the adventurous man. The passionate man being closest on to be free from the social boundaries and understanding of the subjectivity of the materialistic gains is to free a woman in a relationship for the love to exist in the relationship between the two individuals in the society.
Therefore, it is seen in the above essay that the love and relationship between the man and woman is greatly affected by the different sociocultural upbringings that affect the psyche of the individuals. It is a general occurrence that the woman give up themselves in their love and worship their beloved as the supreme and the master of their existence. Since the woman wants to merge into the beloved whom she loves, she epitomizes him and does not understand the presence of the flaws in him. The men on the other hand have a major fallacy in the reciprocation by the man due to the social acculturation he gets. He has to balance himself with the different acculturation to attain a state of a complete free self who can free both of them in the relationships of balanced reciprocal and complete love.
References
Beauvoir, Simone de. “The Second Sex (Trans.) Constance Borde and Sheila Malovany-Chevallier.” New York: Alfred A. Knope (2010).
Leighton, Jean. Simone de Beauvoir on woman. Fairleigh Dickinson Univ Press, 1975.
Lundgren-Gothlin, Eva. “Sex and Existence Simone de Beauvoir’s the Second Sex.” (1996).
McCall, Dorothy Kaufmann. “Simone de Beauvoir,” The Second Sex”, and Jean-Paul Sartre.” Signs: Journal of Women in Culture and Society 5.2 (1979): 209-223.
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