“Get down here, your brothers waiting!” my mom yelled out, in her agitated tone that has become quite frequent lately. I’ve always wondered why she seems so agitated at this time of the day, ever since she and my dad split up something about her has been missing. After spitting out the last of my far from flavorful toothpaste I overhear my mom’s phone call, “John, you know I do not have the money.” She’s on the phone with my dad again, they talk on the phone every so often; their calls never seem to be pleasant.
It seems she always has to beg him; but for what? I nor my brother know, she rarely talks about my father around us, so in return, we both tend to shy away from bringing him up. “John! Please don’t…” a short pause erupts. Then a loud sob , my brother is waiting for me outside so I doubt she expects I can hear her.
“For the love of God John!” She screams out in between tears.
This was a scream I have never heard her let out before, it’s the type of scream that is only let out while watching a loved one die. It’s a type of scream that I’ve only encountered in a Hollywood flix. I start to head down the stairs with nothing but wonder and puzzlement flowing through my head at a more than rapid pace. In my lifetime I’ve only seen my mom cry a handful of times, and every single one of those times was in response to the death of her loved ones.
As I approach the last few steps I hear my mom blowing out her nose in the kitchen, I plan on getting to the front door before she has a chance to say her goodbyes. I hear her starting to pace towards me, “Tell your brother to come in real fast.” I notice the redness of her eyes, the type of redness you get after a long exhausting day that ends in a periodic cry. “Come in here, mom wants you.” I let out with my face pressed against the window so my brother could hear me from the other side. He begins to walk towards the front door, my mom and I slowly pace towards the door to meet him as he opens it.
“Ya mom?” My brother asks in a cheerful tone, without a clue of what has gone on. My mom without saying a word takes a few steps towards my brother and gives him a long, meaningful hug. I begin to develop a sense that my mom is going through something, I know something is wrong. My mom looks at me with a deep frown on her face and motions for me to join. “I love you guys, you both mean so much to me.” Her tone is one of agony, the agony that I have never once seen out of her. My mother is never the one to show emotion, especially in front of my little brother. “I love you too mama.” My brother responds after giving it a few moments, I’m unable to give back a comment. Too much is running through my mind, the unknown of what’s going on is unbearable. She slowly lets go of us, she looks at me first and gives me a grin, the type of grin you force yourself to portray to tell yourself that everything is going to be okay no matter the circumstance.
I head to the front porch reaching for my key that’s stuffed in my pocket in order to lock and unlock my bike lock. I hear my mom softly let out as my brother heads out of the front door, “ You remember that I love you.” My brother and I both hop onto our bikes, we both look at each other in a flustered way. He somehow seems to know as much as I do that something is wrong, I kick up my kickstand as we start to head to school. We ride in complete silence, I figure his mind is racing just like mine. We come up to the bike racks, it’s usually never this full; I figure we are running a little late. The morning bell rings just as I finish locking my bike to its rack, I look at Jake and wave as he heads towards the elementary side of the school. As I head to my first class I notice my palms are beyond sweaty, what caused my mom to act the way she did this morning is causing me to stress myself out in a way I’m not familiar. I reach my first class, which is ultimately my favorite; I love studying history.
As I walk in the door Ms. Reil softly calls my name. “Jane can you come here?” she asks, as I walk towards her desk my head begins to wonder. ‘They must need me in the office.’ ‘Did someone in my family die?’ “Yes Ms. Reil?” I ask as I reach her desk. “Mr. Jonks needs you down in the front office, It’s kind of urgent.” My heart sinks, I can feel the sweat seeping through my denim jeans, I can sense the same fear my mom had on the phone this morning. I walk towards the office without any sense of assurance, I do not know what to expect and that worries me the most. I walk through the double doors that lead me to the front office, I can feel the doors slicing through the air, but I can’t feel certainty. “Jane, what’s going on?” My brother asks as he comes through the opposite double doors that lead to the front office. We both grab each other’s arms with a firm grip as we meet, both equally as worried and confused. As we approach Mr. Jonks office I spot my dad surrounded by two officers and what seems to be a lawyer; my body instantly grows heavy.
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